Letter #10: Holaaaa!

Hola everyone! I am sorry that I didn't email last week- time is a precious thing and extremely hard to find and distribute as a missionary, but I'm learning! It has been an amazing 6 weeks here so far- I have experienced so much more than I thought I could in only 6 weeks, so many different people and so many little miracles, the blessings are everywhere!
A, someone that we have been teaching, got baptized this past Saturday! It was such a beautiful experience and I felt so privileged to be apart of it. He has such a strong testimony and such strong faith. He said that he had been praying to find direction and truth in his life and that day the missionaries passed by his house and he was out front at a time when he normally isn't there. He talked about how grateful he was for the timing and that the missionaries were able to be there to find him, and that he knew that what we taught was true from the beginning! It is a testimony to me that the Lord puts people in our path who are prepared to hear and receive the truth! I often feel humbled to even be teaching this people. One thing that we do quite often is teach people the simple but powerful truth of prayer. There is almost nothing more sacred than the quite moments we have with our investigators before and after they pray for the first time in their life. I love teaching people how simple it is and how we can talk to Him the way we would talk to a friend, and that we can ask specific questions and receive specific answers- and that prayer is like a telephone- it's a two way communication- He wants to talk with us too. It makes me so grateful for my testimony of Joseph Smith, and the courage he had to pray- the courage he had to ask where he could find the truth. We taught a really beautiful lesson on the first vision this past Sunday and Elias (our investigator) said something that hit the point of the lesson on the dot- "I feel like everyone has a little Joseph Smith part in them"- yes!! Everyone has a desire to know the truth- everyone has a desire to figure out what's real and what faith is-who is God and would He really answer me? This is a common human question- and we are so fortunate to have the knowledge of the reality of the restoration- the knowledge that God listens to every prayer and will respond!
Speaking spanish is coming. I still can't really express myself the way I wish I could, but I have such a strong testimony that the Lord prepares us for what he wants us to do. I didn't take any spanish in high school. I knew nothing. And then all of the sudden I felt a pull to go to Ecuador? I know that the Lord guided my thoughts and my desires to Ecuador, to help prepare me for this. I can have actual real conversations with people- and I know it's nothing of my doing. I have a distinct memory in Ecuador of picking up a spanish Book of Mormon just for fun. I had no real desire to learn and this was before I got my mission call so was just going to try to read it for fun, but I remember a distinct thought coming to my brain that said- "there will come a day when you will understand every word of this", I didn't really believe the thought because at the time the words just looked like gibberish. Two weeks later I got my mission call to speak in spanish. I can read a spanish Book of Mormon and understand what is being said. It is so amazing to see how the Lord works and prepares us and will help us do the things he calls us to do, because I know that I could not be doing this without him!
All in all it has been a good week and I am excited to see what lies in store for this week. I had a victory yesterday when one of the ward members told me that I had a "corazon latina" because of my love for guacomole and salsa haha. Oh and apparently there was an earthquake Sunday morning? I guess I slept through it, but the members were talking about it!
I love that I get to be on a bike and feel the wind here. It reminds me of something that one of our investigators, Jovani, told us in a lesson yesterday- that our faith is like the wind- it's not something that you can see but it's something that you can feel. I'm so grateful to be able to feel this "wind" and to have my faith grow to knowledge. I know that God is real and that He loves us and that because He loves us He's given us this gospel so we can know the way to return to Him, and I love that I get to share this with others!
I love you all!

Hermana Clawson

She has a tan line from her CTR ring! Go Savannah!

This is the view from her apartment, aka the border between California and Mexico!

Letter #9

Another week has come and gone although it feels like all I did was blink! I think I have talked to and met more people in these last 3 weeks than I have in my whole life! I am learning how to embrace discomfort and open my mouth even if I have no idea what I am saying! My thoughts are really scrambled this week and I don't have much time, so this email will be shorter than normal I think. 

     We are teaching 5 people who want to be baptized soon! I feel so privileged to have the opportunity to teach these people. I think it's a miracle itself that they still want us to come back because most of the time I feel like I can't say anything of substance and that I'm not making a difference because I don't feel like I can convey the message well, but then they say that they know it's true and that they want to learn more! It's a miracle. It truly testifies that the Lord does the work, we are only the messengers. And just how Christ fed the 5 thousand with only 7(?) loaves, if we put ourselves in His hands and let Him break us it will somehow, miraculously, be enough.  

     I am running out of time, and promise to write more next week, but just know that I love you all! Sometimes when I pray I feel like my heart might explode because of all the love I feel. I have a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and that it has been restored in its fulness. That is what makes this message so special. The Gospel has been restored! We need not wander and we need not despair-there is hope yet again on the earth. And I'm so grateful to share that with people- that God knows them individually, that they can talk with him at any time, that death isn't the end, that the Atonement is real-that life literally has a restart button and that God has a specific plan for EVERYONE-no matter who they think they are or who think they they're not- there is hope!

Hermana Clawson

Letter #8: Broken bikes and open windows

 Hola everyone! I am almost halfway through my first transfer! Isn't that crazy? loco haha. The days and the weeks go by so fast here.I feel like I just sent my last email yesterday! This week has been an adventure for sure. So my bike actually got ran over last Saturday...haha. Luckily I wasn't on it. I was just foolish and left it too close to the middle of a driveway. It's not ride-able now but there are a couple of extra bikes floating around the mission that they're going to try and send my way this week! Anyways, we've been on foot, and it's been an incredible blessing! We've had the opportunity to talk and meet with so many more people. If I had my bike this week, I wouldn't have been able to help teach Rudy how to pray, or teach Gloria how God knows exactly who she is, or meet with the man we see waiting for the bus every week. I know that there is a blessing in every trial, in fact I think it's where there is the most. Think of our greatest blessing-the gift of Christ's atonement for us-that blessing was born on the darkest day in human history! Remember that.

    I love getting to spend all my time to be a missionary. Yesterday as we were walking to an appointment we had with one of our investigators, we heard people calling after us. We turned around and there was a car just about to drive our of a parking lot and onto the road and the had their window down and were telling us to run over there. I was confused because they had recognized us from behind but was super excited to talk to them. It was a family and they had rolled down their windows and started talking to us in spanish. "Are you guys Christian?!" "We've seen you around!!" "We want to know more about your church!!" "Where's your church?!" I was so baffled and confused. They were talking so fast because there was cars behind them but the daughter was saying how they could tell from our appearance that we were Christian and had a good message and the mom started talking about how much she loves to read the scriptures but doesn't have a church. The car behind them started to honk. They were like, do you guys have a card or anything?! I quickly pulled out a picture of Christ and wrote the address of our church on the back but didn't have time to write our number. Then, as they drove away, I literally practically through a Book of Mormon through the window with no explanation hahaha. They drove off but I saw the girl look down at the book and her face lit up and she yelled "thank you!!" as they drove away. It was such a cool experience and I really pray that we can see them again!!! Experiences like that are the highlights of my day.

     I learned something really beautiful in my study this past week. In Jacob 4:5 I learned about sacrifice and how Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son Isaac. I learned how this is symbolic of how our Heavenly Father was willing to sacrifice His Only Begotten Son, Christ. We are all going to have to be Abraham in this life. We are all going to have to be willing to sacrifice everything we care about for God. Now the cool thing I learned, was about what we have to sacrifice. God was willing to sacrifice and send His son, Christ. In John one, it talks about how Christ is the "Word" of God. He is everything God wants to communicate to us. Words symbolize thoughts. Christ is the symbol of God's thoughts towards us-love, mercy, charity, hope, etc. So what are the words in our lives? Surely it's not only the things we say that communicate our desires, but our thoughts, and more importantly our actions. Our entire life is a symbol of what we want to communicate with the world.To "sacrifice" something is to "render holy". How can you render holy your words? How can you render holy your thoughts? How can you render holy your actions? This is how we give our lives to God. Consecrate everything. Be willing to consecrate everything for Him. Is what you're living for worth Him dyeing for? Think about it. Anyways, that was a beautiful part of my study this week.

     I'm so grateful for your guys' love. I am printing out all the emails I recieved because they uplifted me so much. I couldn't be more grateful to have such dependable friends and family. If there is anything I learn daily on my mission is that God is my only real happiness. There is a song that I've been listening to that sums it up really well- "let my pain reveal that your glory is my only real rest." The things that made me "happy" at home can't make me happy anymore. There is no time to myself-and that is something I am learning to be grateful for. Everything is taken away, even just they joy of the sunrise or the extra time to pray a little longer, everything is taken away until the only real satisfaction to find is through His glory-and what is His glory- "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man". This is my only rest now. This is where the lasting joy lies, where the happiness that doesn't fade is. Everything else is just too fleeting. 

     Anyways, I am happy, and I pray that all of you are too. I am happy because of all the people I get to talk with everyday. I've met so many great people. Almost daily we meet with an old man named Victor who got baptized about 2 months ago and we meet under his guava tree and he gives us fruit daily and shares his testimony of the Book of Mormon, which he's reading the second time through. So many blessings! I love you all!!

Hermana Clawson

Letter #7: "Because they knew everything was at stake they were willing to sacrifice everything."

Well, I have officially been in the USA for one whole week now! It's been quite the adventure and I am learning a lot. When I got here we drove by a place that looks just like Clearwater beach and that was a comfort for me. San Diego is beautiful and the weather is perfect!!! I am in a place called San Ysidro, which is pretty much as close to the border of Mexico as you can get- literally I can see the Mexican flag from my apartment haha. I also get to use a bike to get everywhere and am slowly learning how to ride one handed so I can hold my skirt down in the wind hahaha. My new companion is Hermana Larson! She is from Utah and has been here for 6 months and it's her first area. It's nice because she knows all of these people really well and can introduce me.
It's very different than the MTC here. I talk with real people every day. real people. real people with real stories and real lives and real feelings and real dreams and I get the privilege to get to know them and show them the very real light of the Gospel. I am slowly learning how to be brave and open my mouth, but it's hard because I don't know spanish as well as I wished, but I know that Heavenly Father will help me learn this language.
I am learning more and more about the character of Christ and the nature of our Heavenly Father. Christ is mercy. That's what I've learned-that the gospel we preach is one of second chances-of trying again and again and again and trying harder each time. I've learned that the only way I can truly find lasting peace is by conforming my will to God's will. I have to make his happiness my happiness, his joy my joy. And his happiness is stated in Moses 1:39- "for behold, this is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.". This is my work and this is my glory. I want to help people find eternal life. I want to bring people to the peace of the Savior that they don't even know how well they know. And I am slowly learning how to do this.
It's beautiful here, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday we get to do trail runs outside which is such a beautiful blessing. I got to see the beautiful moon every night and get to ride my bike during sunset, although I will say that I really miss the sunrise in Mexico. Alright, well I have to go, sorry that this was short. So much happened it's just hard to wrap my brain around it all. Thank you to everyone for your constant support and prayers, I need it!
Con amor,
Hermana Clawson