Well it's official! I'm halfway through the MTC- weird, right?! It kind of feels like one reallllly long day, in fact I don't ever really know what day it is anymore, since all of them just kinda mesh together, but still so much happens! I was sad earlier this week because our awesome sister trainer leaders left to serve in Nashville Tenesee! I became really close with them (like for real they're both as obsessed with Avatar as I am!), but luckliy they'll both be at BYU Provo of winter 2016!!!!! woohoo. I've had a couple of hard days but hard is good, which is something I have to discover over. and over. and over. and over again. My companera got sick earlier this week and it was really hard for her. She was able to get a priesthood blessing from the boys in our district which was a miracle to be apart of. She's all better!! and I didn't get sick!! Thats a miracle too, seeing that we're with eachother ALL the time. Anyways, it's pday so life is good and my district wants me to teach them yoga haha that puts me on cloud 9! Also- reason number 34353390 Heavenly Father created the Mexico MTC just for me (annabelle you'll love this), all of the desks in my classroom have like lord of the rings stuff literally carved into the desk from former missionairies. My desk yesterday said "I heart baginsses" lol, the rest are like I heart smeagol, I heart orcses, haha.
As usual I've grown a lot spiritually this week and my perspective has been lengthened, even if only a tad. I'm learning that if I make my life a constant conversation with God everything is beautiful, even hard things, in fact those probably the most. I've been reading in the Old Testament about Joseph in Egypt and it's probably one of my very favorite scripture stories of all time. I encourage everyone to go read it! I love where he names his son Manasseh. I looked up what that meant in the bible dictionary and it means "forgetting", That kind of sounds weird, but later in the verse he says "For God hath made me forget all my toil", I just like how through our afflictions we can become greater than we were before and that the Lord will consecrate our afflictions for our gain (2 Nephi 2:1-2). Also hymns with Hermana Horton have become part of our daily routine. We leave lunch just a little early and sing praises. She sings the spanish and I{ll sing the harmony a long in english because I can't play and read espanol at the same time haha. But yah, its probably the highlight of my day everyday.
Spanish is coming. slowly. slowwwwwlly. but coming! Actually sometimes I think back to Ecuador (actually like all the time) and think of how at the beginnning I couldn't understand anything at all. Then I look at life now and how I can understand so much of what our investigators say (who are native speakers from Mexico) and its not my doing and its nothing short of a miracle. MIRACLES!!!!! EVERYWHEREEEEEEE. really though. I'm also learning that it takes courage to be obedient, even among missionairies. Theres always the temptation to forget why you're here, or who you represent and kind of treat it like a big long EFY, but that's not what it is and that's not why I'm here. Every hour you have to remind yourself of who you represent and how you want to share Christ's love with people, and you have to remind youself why. Lots of reminding. I want to be unbreakable. I want to become emotionally and mentally resilient. I refuse to get discouraged.
I tried to learn more about the Atonement this week. Something I realized is that any pain I inflict upon anyone, any pain at all, in the smallest or grandest degree, regardless of how that person has treated me, regardless of if I think they deserve it or not (and who would I be to think so?)-any of the pain I inflict on any human being is one more thing Christ had to suffer through in that sacred garden 2,000 years ago. I can't bear the thought. I'm sorry if i've ever hurt your feelings in any way, to anyone reading this.
Every morning a get to walk and see the remnants of the sunrise. There is nothing I love more than seeing the mountains fade to sky against the pink and red strokes of sun. Seriously nothing better. Also today since it was Pday my companion and I decided to walk through all of the buildings and look at the dozens upon dozens upon dozens of paintings. I don't even think we got halfway. I'm so grateful for this beautiful place! Okay, I've got to go, I love you all so so much!! Seriously so much i could burst. Thank you for prayers thoguths support and everything!!! You mean the world to me.
CON AMOR,
Hermana Clawson
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